Life is challenging at times. I find that time for yoga, reflection, and getting up early help to keep me centered. That and lots of caffeine.
Going through this experience, which is not anything special or unusual, just new for me - there are so many times I've stumbled and made mistakes. My tendency is to blame myself and I'm working on that part of me. Can I see myself as strong, resilient, and flawed but also beautiful?
I miss creating things with my hands. Cooking, baking, showing my love. Gardening, weeding my beds, harvesting healthy food, gazing at the gorgeous flowers I created. But that life also involved a lot of sadness and loneliness. The other day I visited my garden (wearing nice work clothes), and when I saw that mice were eating my sweet potatoes I started rapidly digging them up. I got Every. Last. Sweet. Potato out of there 🙂. In my nice jeans and pretty shirt! At that moment, I didn't care, I simply didn't want all the months of hard work wasted on some mice.
By the way, they were delicious. I grew those plants from sweet potatoes bought at the store, which I soaked in water for a month, then they sprouted, then I potted them and waited another 2 months until the weather was warm enough to plant them outside. They were like babies. I had about 40 plants at planting time. I got somewhere around 15 lbs of sweet potatoes! I could have gotten more if I had been around to care for them and fertilize. But any amount of harvest is better than nothing.
I am confident that my future has many beautiful gardens in it. It might take a few years, but I will have my own garden again. And believe me, it will be spectacular. I envision a spiral garden with stone paths, a gorgeous patio, twinkle lights, the whole nine yards 😀.
Here's to new dreams.