Two summers in a row, we've had stress and big projects overwhelm our family.
I'm in a learning phase now, where I need to step back and assess what's most important. Farming has been my dream for over a decade. But if you aren't having a healthy dynamic with your partner, farming becomes meaningless. What I am finding is that farming is not the dream right now, but self-love is. I have spent a long time ignoring my needs. Putting the everyday tasks ahead of my mental happiness.
Some of my previous blog posts have been a tool to remind myself of my dreams, but in some ways they haven't been very authentic. I have only shown the positive. I have always felt that a wife and mother shouldn't air dirty laundry. But I love to hear others gracefully and authentically share about the breakdown of their marriage or dreams.
So, I'm pushing myself to get comfortable sharing authentically, but also in a way that protects those little beings who are along for this bumpy ride.
My husband and I are ending our journey as life partners. I wish that I could run the farm on my own, but I can't. It's a wild untamed place that needs the full-time focus of a mechanically-minded person. So I am leaving my farm, but I still get to visit sometimes. I hope to have my own acreage in the future. Something smaller, but just as lovely.
This is humbling for me. I've always believed that living closer to nature would fix everything. But it doesn't. Being true to yourself and your needs can help a lot. Listening to that inner voice that says "I want more than this".
I hope to shift the focus of this blog to just Good Food. Cooking has always been a creative outlet for me. Simple ingredients inspire me.
And if you've read this far, I appreciate your support. ❤